Fall Quarter Check-In
I’m no longer a student, but I’m around a lot of students. So here lies my would-be fall quarter status update — young adult edition.
Working from home is a mixed bag of feelings for me. It’s a nuisance when I want to see people in-person but a blessing when I wake up an hour later than anticipated. It’s also teaching me more about discipline, and giving me many nights of restless wondering about what’s next or what could’ve been.
Going into the office feels like my dual-identity work self. I wake up by 5:30 a.m. and hit the road by 6:30 a.m and endure the pains of LA traffic to get to my high-rise corporate office. On the 21st floor I enjoy the views of streets, museums, and construction. I pack mailers for influencers and discover who my coworkers are beyond their Teams video boxes. But, there is tension. And there always has been. I realized that my love for relational depth and writing for the sake of people was often met with a quiet disregard.
Nonetheless, I’m learning a lot here. I’ve learned how to write a press release, build a powerpoint deck, and custom-fit words for a brand. I’m learning that while not all things feel natural, that doesn’t mean they’re wrong. Being a PR associate in a hybrid work environment feels a lot like test-and-learning (an agency term!) everything.
And I guess that’s where I can connect the dots to my outside-work life too. Serving as a college ministry leader and finding my footing in a new church community is something I’ve only done once before. My college years in Seattle were cut short due to the pandemic and the transition between school and adulting was blurry. In a lot of ways, I’ve been test-and-learning how much I can handle too. Can I speak in front of an audience well? Can I lead a small group? Can I pray for those going through things I can’t begin to imagine?
And with my slow but surely growing community at SBCC, I see so much goodness. Goodness in the way I simply said yes to attending college ministry on a Saturday night and suddenly found myself deeply invested in the students around me. Something I’ve been reflecting on recently is our college retreat message that: goodness is nearness to God. Goodness is not simply what looks perfect from the get-go. It’s not an easily identifiable situation or trait. It usually grows with time and consistency. It is a trained eye that searches for God’s intent over our own.
While I may be exhausted at times, I see how the Lord urges me to rest. Whether it’s in my PTO in Texas at a quaint Mexican eatery, or outside admiring the capybara-like mannerisms of my dog. There are moments that breathe so much life into me, that I can’t help but worship.
More than impressive works or progress is this steady current of joy that carries me from week-to-week. When I forget that I’m merely human, I am humbled by the grace extended in my forgetfulness. I’ve been overwhelmed by a calendar filled with plans, but encouraged by morning devotionals. Even now, I sit writing on a Friday afternoon — using the flexibility that is allotted in my current rhythm of work.
Nothing is predictable anymore, the instability of the pandemic probably gave us all a lot more anxiety than we’re capable of realizing. But one thing worth noting is that the goodness of God is still present and waiting to be noticed. In all the unmet expectations and small to medium disappointments I faced this past year, there was a strength within me to continue forward. That strength to believe in what I could not yet see is evidence to the nearness of an invisible yet loving God.
“I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.” — Psalm 27:13–14
